Bzzztttt

Taken from the poms that i seldom meet but when we do, we go crazy like hell.

i wanted to talk about feeling today. noooo.... not about love, as i don't have any of those. about HATE, which i have plenty. i was so easy for me to hate than to love and i can hate indefinitely. i blamed it on the star. seriously.

i was born on 24 oct, which i'm considered a scorpio. not that i'm a believer. they say, scorpio hold grudge, so do i. the trigger point can be anything. even the simplest thing. worst, i tends to show what i feel and sometimes, i even say it out loud. let just say, i tends to have more "enemies" than allies.
my "enemies" are the ones that i despised. i won't talk, look or even have any slightest interest in them. my hate grows with time. it grown till i felt nothing, and we became stranger once again.


Hurm..this sound like someone.
 

it is much much much better here. ★

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Sahur 4th Aug 2012

someone that i used to know date.

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i don't know i just feel sad to max now.

senyum je lebih tapi dalam hati meraung raung like crazy.

i get what i need but not what i want. 

i should be grateful but im not.

tak habis2 with prob. no money broke hell.

then prob with people around me. 

then bila i decided to ignore all that shit.

masalah lain timbul and i cant even talk to anyone about it.

i dont know how to explain myself.

i really need to talk to someone about this but no one is available.

no one trust me no one wants to listen to me.

i just miss u. i wish life is simpler than this.

its just another 19 days to go.

can i just sleep and wake up after 19 days? 

ya allah

im in pain. 

help me.

seriously. help me.

Disown

v disown [disˈoun]

to refuse to acknowledge as belonging to oneself to disown one's son.


Kernerman English Multilingual Dictionary © 2006-2010 K Dictionaries Ltd.

Kisah Seekor Burung

Taken from : ini fynn jamal cakap

beribu tahun dahulu,


nabi ibrahim alaihissalam dibakar kaumnya.



ketika api marak mahu menelan baginda,

semasa tidak ada daya apa2 bantuan dari siapa2,

seekor burung berulang-alik menyimbah air dengan harapan terpadam jua.



berulang alik--

dengan air dicedok dengan paruhnya.

itulah dibuatnya.

berkali2.



tingkahnya diperhati makhluk lain yang cuma mampu bertanya:

apalah guna kau berlelah2, berbolak-balik--

bila api yang menjilat ibrahim itu takkan langsung terluak walau sejentik.



tenang--

burung itu menyahut:

benar.

takkan langsung terluak walau sejentik.

tapi aku lebih gerun pada tuhan kerana dia akan bertanya;

apa yang telah aku lakukan--

bukan apakah hasil perlakuan aku itu nantinya.



:)



berhenti risaukan apa yang orang kata tentang tuhan yang serba jahat.

tuhan kita terpaling baik.

walau sezarah--

tetap dia kira.



*senyum*



maka--

hari ini--

apa perkara kecil-takkan-langsung-terluak-walau-sejentik kita?

6 YEARS

Finally engaged after 6 years ++

My Engagement

5 days left and I feel so hurt physically and mentally. Have been on MC 2 days in a row. Fall sick over and over again in a short period. Terrible teribble headache. Backache from lying too long in bed.

5 days before and u decide to do it now? Why not last year?

Why 5 days before? Why now when l am counting days to my wedding?

I should b happy but clearly u dont want me too.

R u happy now?

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Kenduri Merisik 31March2012

Kenduri merisik was held at my parent's house on Saturday night 31 March 2012.
Here was what happened from early morning on that special day :)

- wake hamim early2 morning to buy/collect cakes & cupcakes, gambir.
- jammed on the way to and back from the place.
- send Hamim to Semenyih so that he can guide the family to Hotel in Nilai. Purpose : no rush, family can relax first, and wont forget important stuff.
- Arrive @ home, all food prepared. Cousin help preparing the house, sapu rumah, susun pinggan and stuff.
- Mandi and go out again to buy a big ice pack i forced the 7e adik to send it to my car. bluerrrrkkkkk!!
- Wanted to do hair sanggul atas but salon in BBN dont have the person to do that, so ppl dtg kedai kau buat ape sume? cuci rambut je, y=tu je kau mampu??
- Balik and found out that the 1st person to arrive is Herwan from BP, Johor. Herwan is my bro but we dont share the same mother. Kak June and her childerns was there too. And Ammar the nephew was there too to drive the father head crazy. hihi.
- More and more people coming after maghrib and Hamim's family arrive @ 8.30 just 5 minutes drive from hotel. Apart from the family itself, Wan Che happen to be there too. She never withnessed any merisik so she was excited to come.
- We start with makan2 first. Lauk merisik was rendang ayam, kari daging, kobis goreng and dessert lengkong in one dulang (jambar).
- Start merisik session I was at in the kitchen. Dont care. dont really feel nervous. just hoping it will finish fast so i can sink my teeth into the cupcakes that i collected earlier from Wondermilk.
- merisik done after 40 minutes. omg they chew sireh ok. i tot they just want to see it. they really chew and they tapau a few for their daughter. they called it ambik berkat kot, why cant they ambil berka by tapauing lauk.. hurm.....
- After merisik there is makan2 kuih session and potong cake session and makan comel2 cupcakes session.

Ok enjoy the pic :

Kota Kinabalu Sabah

-Went to KK on 3rd weekend of March.
-Ya I know im not supposed to jalan jauh2 because im getting married (darah manis katanya), butttt that trip was planned almost 1 year ago.
-Bought cheap tix last year, bought very cheap tour package from MYDEAL few months back (package consist of accommodation, makan, island, snorkel, tranport, lunch, city guide)
-So I have to go kan, coz everything is paid and ready, all i need to prepare is dinner money for 3 night and frozen food money.
- We arrived nite around 8, welcomed by tour guide who assist us with hotel check in (Cititel KK)and show us makan place, we went to eat at night market near Filipino Market. BBQ style seafood, we ate a very big enough for 3 people ,ate a few more dish and just paid rm30++ for this.
- 2nd day morning after bfast we went to Mamutik and Manukan for snorkelling, just near the beach area, and again we had buffet seafood for lunch @ Mamutik. OMG ketam stim was nice. ate salad and stuff.
- Back to the city, went to Frozen Food Center ordered a box of frozen seafood to be sent to Airpot on Sunday morning
- Had dinner @ Kg Air Seafood Center omg we just paid 110++ for 4 person. And the hell we eat like crazy women seriously. Udang, Scallop, Oyster, veggie and a few more dish.
We eat at the same place for the 3rd night and this time we order for 3 person and pay 80. crazy kan. 3rd nite i ordered Ketam one buttermilk and another one kam heong, scallop and oyster gain, sup ikan merah, sotong and veggies. sgt sedap okeh....

I AM SO SORRY, THE BEST THING TO DO IN KK I MUST SAY IS EAT SEAFOOD.
PORING AND ISLAND HOPPING CAME AFTER THAT!!! HAHHAHA.


* MERISIK POST AFTER THIS.

Mid March

Ok another 2 weeks b4 merisik. Here's my achievement. Haha.

- Hamim dah order cincin merisik. tak ambil lagi. know how it looks like and sedikit rasa something2 sbb jsut tgk dalam gambar. But, no need to complain. isn't that the way they do it dulu2. lelaki beli cincin, u shut up and be happy sbb u dpt cincin kan kan.
- rompak dulang hantaran from Shikin, dulang ni dah siap kaki so no need to find another dulang yg berkaki.
- Smalam Hamim bawak g kedai bunga Weng Hoa kat Petaling Street near tempat dia naik bas hari2. Local Rose around 25 buds just Rm16. dah try atas dulang hantaran and hasilnya memuaskan.
- 1 dulang needs 10 roses, so for 5 dulang I just need to spend around RM40-RM50 for dulang's roses. Thx Shikin jasamu dikenang.
- Cupcakes for birthday Hamim is gonna be from Wondermilk, 2 set of petite cupcakes ( 36 each) with 1kg Circus Lola.
- Kawan2 terdekat dah ajak Farah, Nani, Azhar . Dah ajak housemate Sages and Norah tapi Norah will be flying to Korea on the day itself. hurmm..

*ok Im tired doing nothing.

March 2012

It's the month of the 1st event that I have planned 6 months ago - MERISIK.
Merisik day was requested by my family as they strictly wants to follow N9 adat.
FYI my grandpa is datuk adat in N9 and as datuk adat, it would be a shame if his own grandchild does not follow the custom kan kan?
Lagipun, I always dream of a traditional wedding and I feel it is important to have this merisik event so that negotiation can be made with a present of family members with all the saksi to avoid any dispute later later on kan kan?
So MERISIK is on, yes requested by my side, but the date was chosen by Hamim. As mentioned in previous post, he wants it to be on his birthday, the last day of March which fortunately fall on Saturday lucky him.
Benefit for me having merisik day on his birthday is, we gonna have makan2 sponsored by Mama&Baby *laukkampungnocateringipromise:)*. I will only have to buy cake for him. At first, I plan to hire a candy buffet service but I no longer have the budget *sad*. So I'm just gonna order petite cupcake from Wondermilk and fruit topping pavlova and maybe a simple 1kg cake.
Since I request not to have 'sarung cincin moment'. I know some people do it during merisik but I prefer not to, so I'm just gonna wear a simple Jubah I bought super cheap from Bandung last week. It's a black jubah with heavy manik on the chest. Not sure if I should go to saloon for hair do, but it's all depends on budget.
I hired FOC photographer to capture the merisik moment -NANI, and she requested makan sedap2.
I said of course, N9 delicacies super power pedas hell for you Nani, just as you like it.



*can't imagine myself wearing jubah on one of the important event in my life.

Bandung Trip

- Thx to kSyaa i was accompanying her to Bandung to look for her wedding stuff.
- Focus was on the solemnization dress and wedding card.
- she bought lace wedding dress together with her fiance baju melayu with price of ONLY RM300++, together with the tailoring for her dress!!
- unlike me i spend RM1000++ for this, and I'm totally jealous with her and still questioning her whyyyyyyyyyyyyy you never ask me to go b4 I bought mine in Gulati's.
- Ok enough of hasad dengki terhadap Sya.
- We spent 4-5 hours in the shop in Pasar Baru just to buy kain. I bought kain for myself too, a very nice black based kain with tiny tiny flower. the sale assistant chose for me.
- This kain is just for fun, maybe for hari raya :)

* dream of me wearing the wedding dress on my big day. I hope my dress is ok over there :)

Engagement/Birthday Cupcakes

- I'm currently looking for cupcakes for merisik event which hamim request to have it during his bday.
- as usual google is the preferred way to search for vendor.
- manage to find nearby vendor who can cater to my limited budget.wekk..
- this ppl really take cupcakes baking n deco seriously.

*the wedding dress vendor keep telling me not to worry and they understand my request.. :|
* to late to ask if I can trust them onot rite. Haha.

Sent via BlackBerry from Roslin Ain

BIG B!

- Shell Malaysia announced bonus a month earlier than their usual practice.
- this includes salary increment for all the staff.
- I get my BIG B! but not able to spend it u know y.
- my increment in the other hand is above expectation, I am happy.

*got my measurement for wedding dress :) will be in my hand b4 April end.

Sent via BlackBerry from Roslin Ain

Honeymoon

- bought air tix to VN, middle part of VN. guess hehe.
- beach area, near hiking place *wohoooo* and near one of the world heritage center.
- 2 days after the reception and will be back one day b4 hamim's side reception.
- haven't decide which hotel but definitely gonna choose near beach :)
- let see if they have the same type of food here in the middle.

* :)

Quick Update

Seriously..
evrytime i need to update my blog, mesti mesti mesti mesti mesti.. ade je yg mengganggu.
this time, i goona make it quick and no drama, edit here or there. salah eja lantak.
And this time i'm gonna write in point form. OK?!

- I'm getting married this year! June Wedding. Insyaallah 29June Solemnization and next day Reception.
- Engagement will be on 21 April 2012, wanted to make it on 25th my birthday but it's on weekdays and I'm sure there will be a lot of objection from most of it people who don't really wanna come but need to comment here and there.
- Merisik will be on March 31, Hamim's birthday lucky him, it's on Saturday, he chose the date I chose the time.
- Went for a trip to Penang on XMas Day, by car, Hamim driving, was fun. went to the beach and spend romantic evening in Padang Kota. Ate Nasi Kandaq Line Clear. Love.
- Went for a trip to Kuala Terengganu on November. Ate a lot of delicious Terengganu food better version here of course. Cheap and romantic.
- Ordered a custom made wedding dress on ebay. Loving the design, hoping it will be nice on me when it arrive 1 and 1/2 months later.
- Send baju nikah and baju engagement to tailor and will be ready on April.
- Went for kursus kahwin and will start with all the application form to get married on early April hoping for it to be settle mid May.
- Started with my facial and spa since im not beautiful like princess. I focus more on facial, manicure and pedicure.
- Got to know that Im crazy and currently on on therapy. I need to be cured asap like seriously.
- Talked to a few of old friend. thank you for listening to me :)


I will update more and more later.